“the particular loneliness”–> the gateway to something new

I've been reflecting upon the particular loneliness that comes from a loveless marriage…...
Henri Nouwen talks about loneliness, pain, brokenness, suffering and I agree with him that precisely in the depth of the aching IS---> the gateway right into the very embrace of the ONE who loves me.

Quoted from Henri Nouwen tape Who are we? Exploring our Christian Identity

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“Befriend your loneliness, pick up your cross ... Precisely where we are painful, precisely where we are suffering there is the gateway that leads us to something new...if we are willing to embrace our brokenness we will discover that in the midst of all this pain there is joy... “

Rest

whose adorning let it be
the hidden person of the heart
(I Peter 3)

quoted from When the Lights Go Out by
Graham Cooke

quote:

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I am choosing to live my life in hiddenness, so that when God's manifestation comes, it's a bonus. I want to live in that place of constantly yielding inwardly to find the presence of God- the place that, even in the eye of the storm is one of tranquility, of peace and of rest. In such a place, "rest" becomes a weapon against the enemy. You can exasperate the devil, because when he comes against you, you don't fight against him, but submit to God (see James 4:7).

In fact, it is not our job to fight the devil. Our job is to "step back" into God and experience His majesty and power. Christ has overcome the devil, so we need to focus on being "in Christ"... Real warfare is about discovering the majesty, the supremacy and the sovereignty of the Lord Jesus Christ. Warfare is about seeking the face of God and enjoying Him as your fortress and your refuge.

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Sacred Influence - "God, not your marital status, defines your life."- #1

from Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas

God, not your marital status, defines your life.

Is that true of you? The more it is, the more success your will have in moving your man, because weak women usually forfeit their influence.

Look at this from a very practical perspective: do you care much about what a person for whom you have little respect thinks of you? Probably not. So then, how is such a person going to influence you? When their opinion doesn’t matter; they may communicate clearly, honestly, and practically- but you’re still not going to listen to them. In the same way, if your husband doesn’t respect you, if you have sinfully put his acceptance of you over your identity as a daughter of God, then how will you ever influence him for the better? (Pg 21)

...if you will do almost anything to gain his acceptance- then you’ve just given to a man what rightfully belongs to God alone.
And that means you’ve turned marriage into idol worship.
When you do that, both you and your husband lose....
In addition, how will you ever find the courage to confront someone whose acceptance so determines your sense of well being that you believe you can’t exist without him? How will you ever take the risk to say what needs to be said if you think your future depends on your husband’s favor toward you? (Pg. 27)

If you truly want to love, motivate, and influence your husband, your first step must be to connect- and to stay connected- with God. Find your refuge, security, comfort, strength, and hope in him. (Pg. 28)

It’s not your pain that motivates him but his pain. You have to be willing to create an environment... in which your spouse will be motivated by his pain. This is a courageous and healthy movement toward your spouse and toward preserving and strengthening your marriage, and is an act of commitment, not rebellion (pg. 31)

Once you fully understand your status before God, you need never again live at the mercy of a man’s approval. (Pg. 33)

"Who Are We?" from Henri Nouwen

WHO ARE WE?

Henri J.M. Nouwen
Exploring our Christian Identity
(excerpt from the taped message)

You are:
a. A child of God
b. the one who I call my child (son/daughter)
c. I hold you in the palm of my hand
d. I have engraved you on the palms of my hand
e. I have fashioned you in the depths of the earth
f. I have molded you together in your mother’s womb
g. You belong to me/I belong to you
h. You and I are united in love from all eternity
i. Before your mother, father, brothers, sisters, teacher, your school touched you
I loved you
I called you
I held you safe
I saw you
I embraced you
j. You are my child, my daughter. You belong to me.
We need to hear this voice and keep hearing Him say, You are mine.
The Spiritual Life is a life in which you more and more and more hear

that voice,

in which you come gradually in touch with the mysterious truth:
That you were loved
that you were cared for
and looked at with immense affection,

long before you entered into this little world, into clock time
I have called you from all eternity
I have loved you from all eternity
You belong to me
I am your lover
I love you not because you did good things
I love you not because you have a lot of things
I love you not because people speak well of you

or you have so many talents

I love you because I love you
because I love you
Because I love you.
As my child, who belongs to me, I am sending you into the world
where people will laugh at you
where people will praise you
Where people will reject you
Where people will accept you
Where people will speak well of you
Where people will speak bad of you.
Whatever happens in the world, you do NOT belong to that world
You belong to Me, long long before you could even think, speak, talk, or love, yourself
You belong to God from all eternity and you are sent into the world for a little moment

and called back

to be,

for all eternity,

in that great embrace of love.

Who I am in Christ

(from "He Restoreth My Soul" by Donna Fiorini)

1. I am able. (Phil. 4: 13)
2. I am abounding in grace. (II Cor. 9:8)
3. I am above and not beneath. (Deut. 28: 13)
4. I am accepted. (Eph. 1 :6)
5. I am an ambassador for Christ. (II Cor. 5:20)
6. I am anointed. (1 John 2:20)
7. I am anxious for nothing. (Phil. 4:6)
8. I am the apple of His eye. (Zech. 2:8)
9. I have authority over the devil. (Luke 9: 1)
10. I am beautiful. (Psalm 149:4)
11. I am becoming a mature person. (Eph. 4: 13)
12. I am becoming conformed to Christ. (Rom. 8:29)
13. I am a believer. (Rom.lO:9)
14. I belong to God. (John 17:9)
15. I am blessed. (Eph.l :3)
16. I am blood bought. (I Cor. 6: 19,20)
17. I am bold. (Prov. 28: 1)
18. I am a branch of the True Vine. (John 15:5)
19. I am called. (T Peter 5: 1 0)
20. I am cared for. (I Peter 5: 7)
21. I am a child of God. (John I: 12)
22. I am cherished. (Eph. 5:29)
23. I am chosen. (l Peter 2:9)
24. I am a co-heir with Christ. (Rom. 8: 17)
25. I am comforted. (Jer. 31: 13)
26. I am confident. (I John 4: 17) ,
27. I am confident of answers to prayer. (I John 5: 14, 15)]
28. I am confident He will never leave me. (Heb. 13:5,6)
29. I am a conqueror. (Rom. 8:37) ,
30. I am courageous. (l Chron. 28:20)
31. I am created in His image. (Gen. 1 :27)
32. I am crucified with Him. (Gal. 2:20)
33. I am dead to sin. (Rom. 6: 11)
34. I am a delight. (Psalm 147: 1)
35. I am delivered. (Psalm 107:6)
36. I am determined. (Phil. 4: 13)
37. I am disciplined. (Heb. 12:5-11)
38. I am empowered to obey. (Phil. 2: 13)
39. I am enlightened. (Eph. I: 18)
40. I am faithful. (Rev. 17: 14)
41. I am far from oppression. (Isaiah 54: 14)
42. I am favored. (Job 10: 12)
43. I am filled with the fruit of the Spirit. (Gal. 5:22,23) .
44. I am filled with the knowledge of His will. (Co 1. 1 :9)
45. I am filled with joy. (John 17: 13)
46. I am a finished product in progress. (Phil. 1:6)
47. I am fighting the good fight of faith. (I Tim. 6: 12)
48. I am forgiven. (Eph. 1 :7)
49. I am free. (John 8:36)
50. I am gifted; (Rom. 12:6)
51. I am God's child. (John 1: 1
52. I am granted grace in Christ Jesus. (Rom. 5:17,20)
53. I am guarded by God's peace. (Phil. 4:7)
54. I am the head, not the tail. (Deut. 28: 13)
55. I am healthy. (Deut. 7: 15 )
56. I am holy. (Eph. 1 :4)
57. I am humble. (Phil. 2:24)
58. I am the image of God. (Gen. 1 :27)
59. I am an imitator of God. (Eph. 5: 1)
60. I am indwelt by His Spirit. (Rom. 8: 11)
61. I am inseparable from His love. (Rom. 8:35)
62. I am joyful. (Phil. 4:4)
63. I lack no wisdom. (James 1 :5)
64. I am a light in a dark place. (Acts 13:47)
65. I am loved. (John 3: 16)
66. I am loyal. (Psalm 86:2)
67. I am mighty in God. (Luke 10: 19)
68. I have the mind of Christ. (I Cor. 2: 16)
69. I am a minister of reconciliation. (II Cor. 5: 18,19)
70. I am a mountain mover. (Mark 11 :22,23)
71. I am prosperous. (Psalm 1 :3)
72. I am protected. (Psalm 91: 14)
73. I am provided for. (Matt. 6:33)
74. I am reconciled to God. (Rom. 5: 10)
75. I am redeemed. (Gal. 3:13)
76. I am His representative. (Matt. 5: 16)
77. I am rich. (I Cor. 8:9)
78. I am righteous. (Eph. 4:22)
79. I am rooted and built up in Him. (Coi. 2:7)
80. I am safe. (Psalm 4:8)
81. I am satisfied. (leI'. 31: 14)
82. I am secure. (Deut. 33: 12)
83. I am sheltered. (Psalm 91: 1)
84. I am stable. (Isaiah 33:6)
85. I am standing in His grace. (Rom. 5:2)
86. I am standing firm in Christ. (II Cor. 1 :21)
87. I am strong in the Lord. (1 Cor. 1 :8)
88. I am transformed. (II Cor. 3: 18)
89. I am triumphant. (II Cor. 2: 14)
90. I am unafraid. (Is. 44:2; 51:12)
91. I have understanding. (II Tim. 2:7)
92. I am valuable. (Luke 12:24)
93. I am living in victory. (I Cor. 15:57)
94. I am a warrior. (II Cor. 10:4)
95. I am in a wealthy place. (Psalm 66: 12)
96. I am being made whole. (Mark 5:34)
97. I am wise. (Prov. 2:6)
98. I am His worshipper. (Psalm 95:6)
99. I am worthy. (Rev. 3:4)
100. I am yielded to God. (Rom. 6:13)