God's will for Christian Wives- (OYE! What a DESPOT!)

quoted from "Man of Her Dreams, Woman of His" by Joel and Kathy Davisson

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Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry,
bear children, manage the house, give no
opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

The word translated here as “manage” the house, means to be the head of a family! The Greek word is "oikodespoteo" (3616 in Strong’s) which means, “to be the head of” or in other words “to rule” a family.

Now it is getting hot in here.

The King James Version interprets this as to “guide the house”. That was a safe translation.

I can imagine that if the translators had translated the word literally that women are to be the head of a family or rule the family there would have been problems. They might have heard the much feared words from the king, “Off with his head!”

The word we just looked at, “oikodespoteo,” is taken from the word “oikodespotes,” which means exactly the same thing: to be the head of a family. King James translates this in other verses as “goodman of the house”, “householder” and “master of the house.”

For the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that
is an householder, which went out early in the
morning to hire laborers into his vineyard.
Matthew 20:1

The word translated “householder” in Matthew 20:1 is the same word used to describe a wife’s leadership in the home. This person was in charge! He hired the laborers. This is a parable describing leadership in the same way that a wife is authorized to be the head of the house.

So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then
the master of the house being angry said to his servant,
Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city, and
bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind.
Luke 14:21

Here the word is translated “master of the house”. This is what the wife is supposed to be! The master of the house! How can this be? How can God tell both the husband and wife to be the head of the house together?

HE IS GOD! God planned it this way! God’s plan for leadership in your home is one of team leadership and mutual submission. Another word to describe mutual submission would be mutual “adaptation”.

What are we after? We are after teamwork and mutual respect when it comes to leading the family unit. That is what the Bible teaches; husbands and wives working together, leading their home as a team. The two become ONE!

You can do this. I know it is a new paradigm. Just remember that the goal is to grow up.

Adults do not always demand their way. Toddlers do. You really do not want to stay at the emotional age of a toddler.

Emphasizing that you are the head of the house and demanding that your wife submit to and obey you only does one thing. It leaves you as a forty- or fifty-year old toddler who throws temper tantrums when things do not go his way.

Quit living like this. You are better than that.

The only way for you to become the man that God has called you to be is to become the husband your wife needs you to be.

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"I will make him an help meet for him"

I dislike the historically demeaning interpretation of “help meet”. For example look at this description:

John Gill (1697-1771) Bible Commentary: I will made him an help meet for him; one to help him in all the affairs of life, not only for the propagation of his species , but to provide things useful and comfortable for him ; to dress his food , and take care of the affairs of the family ; one "like himself" {c}, in nature, temper, and disposition, in form and shape; or one "as before him" {d}, that would be pleasing to his sight, and with whom he might delightfully converse, and be in all respects agreeable to him , and entirely answerable to his case and circumstances, his wants and wishes.

She sounds very much like a "household appliance".
Slightly more useful than a plain doormat.

Here is a description which really ministered to me. I found it very edifying and empowering in a way which is constructive to both myself, my husband, and our marriage:

From Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge

When God creates Eve, he calls her an ezer kenegdo. “It is not good for the man to be alone, I shall make him [an ezer kenegdo]” (Gen 2:18 Alter). Hebrew scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says that this phrase is “notoriously difficult to translate”. The various attempts we have in English are “helper” or “companion” or the notorious “help meet”. Why are these translations so incredibly wimpy, boring, flat... disappointing? What is a help meet, anyway? What little girl dances through the house singing “One day I shall be a help meet?” Companion? A dog can be a companion. Helper? Sounds like Hamburger Helper. Alter is getting close when he translates it “sustainer beside him.”

The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God himself, when you need him to come through for you desperately.

Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If he were not there beside you... you are dead. A better translation of ezer would be “lifesaver”. Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.

Gen 1:26-28 God gave both male and female dominion: they are the King and the Queen
I do see them given different roles

Gen 2:15¶ And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

Clicking on the word "keep" will take one to the Strong's definition of the Hebrew Word "shamar" (which is not just gardening). It is to protect, guard, watchman, preserve, etc which implies there is an enemy, a danger and Adam is responsible to guard and protect.

Eve's intended (by GOD) role is stated here:
Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

By clicking on the word "help meet" one can see that it carries the meaning of aid, succour, one who helps. But please notice the other occurances of the Word by scrolling down the page at that link. The same word translated "help meet" of women is used of God.

So the husband has the authority to protect, nurture, nourish, cherish, love, understand, value, esteem, and respect his wife (see also Eph 5 and 1Peter 3 instructions for husbands). And the wife has the authority to help, nourish, love, humbly support Christlikeness (aka submit to), and reverence her husband (see also Eph 5 and 1Peter 3 instructions for wives)