Communication Skills: Worst to Best

From Retrouvaille post session workbook:


quote:
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Use this scale as a guide to see whether or not you are giving your spouse healthy responses that promote good communication. Like anything, “Practice Makes Perfect.”

Worst:
When my spouse says something and I...
...reject or ridicule his/her feelings
...criticize him/her
...question his/her perceptions
...defend myself
...ignore him/her
...share just to meet my own needs
It is hurtful and indicates rejection
My spouse’s feelings might be... I feel hurt

Poor:
When my spouse says something and I...
...ask questions about the facts
...give advice
...ignore his/her feelings
...reassure without identifying his/her feelings
It misses feelings and indicates toleration.
My spouse’s feelings might be... I feel frustrated

Good:
When my spouse says something and I...
...accurately identify his/her main feeling
It acknowledges main obvious feelings and indicates acceptance.
My spouse’s feelings might be... I feel accepted.

Best:
When my spouse says something and I...
...ask questions about the feelings
...mirror back with empathy
...communicate understanding of his/her feelings
...try to understand non-verbals
It goes beyond the obvious to underlying feelings and indicates acceptance.
My spouse’s feelings might be... I feel cared for and want to tell you more.