Defining "femininity"

quote from Ruby Slippers* by Jonalyn Fincher


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is femininity just too difficult to nail down?

How Philosophers Help Women

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Philosophers define such slippery things using family resemblance, a list of the many ways things resemble each other. Family resemblances are a list of common but not required characteristics. We know and accept that some members do not have all resemblances. They are still "in" the group because they have enough on the list. As a philosopher, I think this approach works well with femininity.

Family resemblance helps us explain femininity because it keeps our notions of femininity clear yet flexible. We can come up with a list of recurring resemblances that many, though not all, women have. Some items on this list will be characteristic of many women, but all together they may nor be true of every woman. The key is that all women will enjoy at least one of these family characteristics. One is sufficient for a woman to be feminine...

A person has a woman's soul by having the first characteristic. The first family resemblance is something essential to all women. The rest are more commonalities that more women than men share, hence family resemblance.

~~~~Family Resemblance~~~~~~~~~~Description

1. Female body---------> A soul interwoven into a female body
2. Vulnerability--------->In body and soul
3. Interdependence----->Identity emerges from intimacy
4. Sensitive awareness-->Soul radar for others and ourselves
5. Emotional intelligence-> Experience in management of intense emotions
6. Cultivation------------> Ability to tend others, ourselves, and the world

These are just the beginning of a list of natural feminine resemblances- there may be more. These qualities, as gifts from God may come more easily yo us. These are not things we should have to try to do as much as they will be part of who we are....

Natural femininity is the way we live with our female body and the way we use our soul for vulnerability, interdependence, sensitive awareness, emotional intelligence, and cultivation. The latter five characteristics are not requirements for all women. A man may be sensitive, vulnerable, or a cultivator, but that doesn't make him feminine. A man can never be feminine in his soul because he doesn't have the essential ingredient: a female body. (clips from pages 101-106)
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* FINCHER, JONALYN. Ruby Slippers : How the Soul of a Woman Brings Her Home. Grand Rapids, Mich. Zondervan, 2007, pages 101-106.