What Happens When Your Wife's Spirit Closes?

quote from "Winning Your Wife Back Before its too Late" by Gary Smalley


Although there are probably hundreds of ways to offend your wife and close her spirit, we consistently see several that top the list. You can close your wife's spirit by:

-speaking harsh words
-telling her that her opinions don't matter
-being unwilling to admit when you are wrong
-taking her for granted
-making jokes or sarcastic comments at her expense
-not trusting her
-forcing her to do something that she's uncomfortable with
-being rude to her in front of others
-dismissing her needs as unimportant

Your wife could probably make up her own list of the things you've done to close her spirit.

At our office in Branson, Missouri, we consistently get calls from men all around the world who are desperate because their wives just walked out the door. The most devastating part is that many of these men fail to realize that little by little, their actions closed their wives's spirits. Because this happens internally, many men don't realize they've offended their wives. And one day the husband comes home to find his wife's spirit rolled up in a tight ball, like the sow bug. You may not always be aware of what you do to deposit anger into the life of your loved one. However, when it comes to relationships, a preventative rule of thumb is this: whatever dishonors another person usually closes her spirit!

If you have been wondering why your wife left or perhaps why she resists your efforts at reconciliation, the answer is usually found in a closed spirit. The sad reality is, the more a man steps on the spirit of his wife, the more resistant she becomes to him. Its fairly easy to recognize a closed spirit once you know what to look for. The most common signs of a closed spirit are listed here:

-she often has an argumentative attitude
-her facial expressions reflect anger or avoidance
-she is very resistant to discussing or agreeing on almost anything
-her hand is often cold and unresponsive when you touch it
-you sense she is avoiding you
-she often turns her back away from you
-she does not respect your advice
-she can become very critical of you
-she has few or no romantic or warm feeling toward you
-she walks out the door or files for legal separation or diovrce

Our purpose in writing about a closed spirit is not to make you- who may find yourself with a closed sow bug instead of an an open wife- feel guilty. It is to provide hope. I have done many things to close the spirit of my wife and the key to reconciliation is to learn how to reopen her spirit....

You must make the decision and commitment to do whatever is necessary to relieve your wife's anger. For years now, I have practiced the following four attitudes to make sure that anger is drained out of our home on a daily basis.