Sacred Influence- "Taming Husband's Anger"

from Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas Taming... Husband's Anger

Spiritual Preparation
There’s another principle we can learn from Jo’s experience: in order to confront anger in your man, you’re going to need to put your own spiritual house in order; otherwise you’ll likely lack the strength, courage, and perspective to help your husband...

When you live with an angry man, you not only crave but literally need God’s affirmation. Men can be very cruel with their cutting comments if you aren’t receiving affirmation and affection from your heavenly Father, you’re going to feel emotionally empty and perhaps even worthless- and that will feed into your husband’s response and tempt you to become even more of a doormat...

So if you’re living with an angry man, please accept my encouragement to spend all that much more time in worship, prayer, and Christian community so that you can soak up the love, affirmation, and affection you need for a healthy spiritual life. From such a strong spiritual core, you can face the hurt and frustration in your marriage as Jo did.

Armed with her standing before God, Jo made it clear to Ray that while she wanted to understand his frustration, she would not put up with verbal harassment....

Ray says, “I wanted to recognize her needs. When Jo stood up to me, it told me she valued herself. SO I valued her. It made me understand that Jo is a person with a lot of Character; she cares about herself, and I think every man wants that . I don’t think men want a woman they can just run over...”

This goes back to the point made in the very first chapter; respect is vital in a marriage, and not just for a woman toward her man, but also for a man toward his wife. If your husband doesn’t respect you, you’re going to have a very difficult time influencing him in any significant way. And if you don’t respect yourself, you’ll make it that much more difficult for you husband to respect you...

Angry men sometimes tell me something they rarely tell their wives: they feel ashamed of how they’ve acted; they hate what they’ve become. In most cases when you help a husband tame his temper, you’re helping him to become th kind of man he wants to be.