"Sacred Companions": Quotes

quotes from Sacred Companions by David Benner


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Embarking on the journey of Christian spiritual transformation is enrolling in the divine school of love. Our primary assignment in this school is not so much study and practice as letting ourselves be deeply loved by our Lord.
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If we are to become great lovers, we must return again and again to the love of the Great Lover. Thomas Merton reminds us that the root of Christian love is not the will to love but the faith to believe that one is deeply loved by God.
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Holiness is becoming like GOD with whom we live in intimate relationship. It is acquiring His Spirit and allowing spirit to be transformed by Spirit.
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The unique self I am called to be is never a self I simply dream up and decide I'd like to be...
the self that I actually am in Christ... my eternal self... the self I am intended to be... is the ONLY self that will allow me to be truly whole and holy
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What then should be crucified?
...my ways of living apart from God's will
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sin is ultimately a refusal to believe that what GOD wants is my happiness and fulfillment... I am tempted to sin-to take my life into my own hands...
As I become convinced that God wants nothing more than my fulfillment, surrender to His will is increasingly possible.
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Christian spirituality is about becoming all we were meant to be...
becoming great lovers who are
whole and holy because we have begun to
discover our true self-in-Christ
becoming truly and fully human
and truly and fully ourselves
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our sinful and false ways of being are what we are to crucify...

Jesus knew who HE was before GOD and in GOD. HE could therefore resist temptations to live HIS life out of a false center based on
possessions,
actions,
or the esteem of others

Merton suggests that at the core of our false ways of being there is always a sinful refusal to surrender to God's will.
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Henri Nouwen describes the nurture of inner stillness as the cultivation of solitude of the heart. Such solitude is not a state of relaxation. Nor is it simply a matter of being alone. Solitude of heart comes from attentiveness to the presence of God. It is the prayer of spirit to Spirit, a prayer of attunement, not necessarily of words. It is a response of surrender to the Spirit of Jesus who offers us rest for our souls.
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Soul hospitality is also a gift of safety. Think of feeling safe enough with another person that without weighing words or measuring thoughts you are able to pour yourself out, trusting that the other person will keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away....

Soul friendship is the gift of a place where anything can be said without fear of criticism or ridicule. It is a place where masks and pretensions can be set aside. It is a place where it is safe to share deepest secrets, darkest fears, most acute sources of shame, most disturbing questions or anxieties. It is a place of grace- a place where others are accepted as they are for the sake of who they may become.
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In dialogue I attempt to share how I experience the world and seek to understand how you do so. In this process each participant touches and is touched by others… In dialogue I meet you as a person, not an object. Objectification of people is the heritage of the professionalization of helping relationships. It is also the great enemy of distinctly Christian soul care. When we treat others as objects, even for benevolent reasons, we rob them of their humanity…
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The precondition of dialogue is respect. Nothing helps me do that more than seeing the other person through the eyes of Christ… through the eyes of Christ, I see their worth and dignity. I also see what they can become, not simply what they are....
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Respect is the foundation of dialogue, and Christians have a unique resource for offering it: eyes of faith that allow us to see those we encounter as deeply loved by God and bearing HIS image….
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Dialogue involves the risk of revealing what is most precious to me. If I remain in a safe zone of opinions, facts, and information, I have not exposed my deepest self. Nor have I ventured to the place of deep encounter with others that is called dialogue… What I do or say is not ultimately all that important. The most important thing I can do is to help the other person be in contact with the gracious presence of Christ. If I bring anything of value to the meeting it is that I mediate divine grace.
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At their best, Christian friends help each other discern God’s presence, recognize it as a presence of grace, come to trust that grace and surrender to it more freely.
Sacred friends mediate God’s grace and help others recognize and respond to it. Put another way, they help each other discuss and embrace God’s will.
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But God’s will is never that we simply comply with His desires. God’s will is that we surrender to His love
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If we are to
become GREAT LOVERS
we must return again and again
to the GREAT LOVE
of the GREAT LOVER.
Thomas Merton reminds us that
the root of Christian love
is NOT the WILL to love
but the FAITH TO BELIEVE
one is
deeply loved by GOD
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