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As women we long to be loved in a certain way, a way unique to our femininity. We long for romance. We are wired for it; it's what makes our hearts come alive. You know that. Somewhere, down deep inside, you know this. But what you might never have known is this
This doesn't need to wait for a man.
God longs to bring this into your life himself. He wants you to move beyond childlike "Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so." He wants to heal us through his love to become mature women who actually know him. He wants us to experience verses like, "Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her" (Hos 2:14). And "You have stolen my heart, my sister my bride (Song 4:9). Our hearts are desperate for this. What would it be like to experience for yourself that the truest thing about his heart toward yours is not disappointment or disapproval but deep, fiery, passionate love? This is, after all, what a woman was made for....
For the root of all holiness is Romance.
From Unbreakable Bonds by Meier (pg 74)
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Waiting for reciprocity means spending countless hours, days, months, and years waiting for a distant and disconnected other to change and meet our unmet needs from childhood. We could be using all this time to learn how to and begin to meet our own needs and provide for ourselves- connecting with ourselves and friends who do love and accept us for the way we are. But instead, we waste our lives blaming and waiting for someone who is incapable of, or unwilling to, relate intimately. It is important that we teach ourselves to let them go. God said in Psalm 68 that he loves those of us who are lonely and desires to place us in new, healthier “families”
If you are already married to someone who is disconnected, you can let go of waiting for him or her to come and fill your needs. You do not have to divorce your partner to develop an intimate knowledge of yourself. Nor do you need your spouse’s permission to form an intimate relationship with God and friends. Of course, when a marriage is strained, it often results in a lack of physical intimacy. Though we were created to enjoy this kind of intimacy in our marriages, we will not die without it. ..
We can wait in bitterness and loneliness or let go of waiting and learn how to direct our own path to true meaning, purpose, and happiness...
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